POEM TO BE READ IN THE VOICE OF TOM WAITS

Let's all go out to lunch with this fifty dollar bill
I stole from my Mama's purse along with a skull ring
I took off her old man's finger passed out on the threadbare carpet

I know a place with coffee so strong bent spoons stand up straight after you're done stirring
and if there isn't a dead fly in the metal container for the creamer
they've been known to tear up your check at the register
and toss it over your head like confetti on New Year's Eve

We can ask for one of Bertha's tables she's the waitress with the best ass
but that might mean waiting because everyone has the same idea about Bertha's great ass
but it's cool because I brought along the pennysaver and we can read it
and laugh at people trying to sell plastic lawn furniture in the middle of January

Hey wait a second I could use a table just that size
to go next to my barcalounger i'll put my horseshoe ashtray on it
and still have room for a can of whatever beer's on sale that week at Foodtown
and the TV remote after I get the set out of hock


About Stephen Caratzas:
Stephen Caratzas is a writer, musician and visual artist currently living in Hastings-on-Hudson, New York.