Tuesday, October 25, 2011

On Hearing that My Good Friend Tried to Take Her Life, 28 Years to the Month After My Brother Billy Did Take His

I think I’d just prefer 
that everyone quit trying to die for my sins.
I don’t want anyone to die—
        not my brother Billy; not John Lennon;
not even Jesus.

It always ends up that I feel 
guilty and sick and alone
trying to atone for their sacrifice;
desperately trying to figure out where to put the knife
to return enough of their blood
and still leave me enough to carry on
and live.

No, I feel no need for your sacrifice.
If you feel still you must,
        make it to yourself;
        make it to God;
        make it TO THE MOON
—but not to me.
For I am done with swearing.

About Chloe Wagner:
Chloe Wagner is a Quaker and a librarian-wanna-be residing in the Kansas City, MO area. She has been featured on the PoetryBlitz! CD and published in Thorny Locust, Prism Magazine, and The Corner Anthology.

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